Thursday, March 15, 2007

The post where she hits google paydirt

I have to tell you, this is a very untrafficked blog. There are probably three people who check it every day, and I only average 4 first-time visitors a day. I have had three hits from google in the last two months. One of those was someone searching the name of my blog. I got a hit from someone looking for pictures of the new BBC Jane Eyre series, and one from someone who found me via a Richard Armitage search.

Imagine my extreme pleasure, then, when I noticed a hit from google today. This curious visitor was looking for information on -- get this -- "how to help a squirrel with itchy skin." A squirrel with itchy skin!! Now, I know how they landed here - some combination of my squirrel posts and the one on Livy's visit to the vet - but really now. Isn't that fantastic?? I am really pleased, I tell you. Pleased as pie.

Is this squirrel itchy?
Itchy skin: The plague of squirrel-kind. This poor rodent has been afflicted with itchy skin for months. He has been disowned by his family and is now living in a drafty hole abandoned by woodpeckers. Who will help the squirrels? Will you?

In order to meet the needs of my new and potential visitors, I'd like to take a moment to discuss the itchy skin affliction among the squirrel population. Itchy skin afflicts approximately 80 per cent of all squirrels at some point in their lifetime. While some may be solely due to environmental conditions such as dry winter air or sun damage, some itchy skin is caused by pests, bacterial infections, and chemical imbalances in the skin and fur follicles.

Fleas are a common causing of itching and scratching, in which case I would suggest pet shampoo (probably kitten shampoo is best). You may have to catch the squirrel in a live trap and dump it in a tub or basin of warm soapy water to administer the treatment. If your squirrel spends a lot of time in the sun, I would suggest you check the affected areas for suspicious moles or hair growth (good luck). If you discover that it is nothing more than dry skin, hold him by the tail and dip him in some (room temperature!) peanut oil or sunflower oil (you know, whichever is his favourite). That should help with the dryness, and encourage grooming, too (what fun you will have watching him eat his fur! Those squirrels will eat anything). Finally, if it is some strange rodent skin condition that you cannot treat using any of these methods, talk to the hamster expert at your local pet store. One be-toothed rodent is the same as the next, right?

And finally finally, if you actually want to know how to help an itchy squirrel, this is not the place to look for it. But you are more than welcome to come back! Oh, and bookmark me. And leave comments! It's not that I'm desperate for more readers. It's just that I'm desperate for more readers who are concerned about the health issues of poor defenceless squirrels.


Threnody said...

This is the funniest blog post I've read in quite a while. I was ACTUALLY laughing out loud for once. So that should be some consolation, right?

By the way, your page load figures don't include people (like me) who subscribe to the RSS feed.

Anonymous said...

Where to you:
a) get the time to research this
stuff, and
b) find this stuff.

I see a rosy employment future with the Bathroom Readers Institute. If they had more of this stuff, I'd probably fall off my throne.


Sarah O. said...

Threnody: Thanks! That is very encouraging. About the funny thing. And yeah, I figured the RSS feed affected the count, but thought it was minimal, since I don't know that many people who actually make use of RSS feeds.

And Cat: First, you can use your blogger profile! It'll get you more hits. Second, well, I wouldn't recommend anyone should actually follow my advice. . . I was completely legit, ethical, and above-board in "j-skool", but that doesn't mean I didn't learn how to blave.